Mario's Stolen Teeth
by anythingbutmyoriginal
Summary: Mario's teeth get stolen by evil Koopa Troop monkies and there is only one team for the job... Mario's equipment. Will Ham, Mr. Cape, Mr. Right, Mrs. Left, and Kapp be able to stop the monkies and recover Mario's teeth? Find out by reading.
1. Mario's Teeth Get Stolen

**Chapter 1: Mario's Teeth Get Stolen**

One day Mario was in Peach's Castle when he got hungry he went to the refrigerator and started to get food. Luigi was in the main room with Peach, Toadsworth, and some Toads when he heard Mario scream. He rushed to the fridge and saw Mario lying there unconscious without his teeth. Luigi stood there in awe. Peach came by. She kicked Luigi in the shin.

"Don't just stand there and watch! Get him!" Peach scolded Luigi.

"Oh sorry."

Luigi picked up Mario and they all ran back to the main room.

"What happened to his teeth?" A toad asked.

"Why is he unconscious?" Another asked.

"Why does he wear red?" Another toad servant asked.

Just then Mario popped to life and started break dancing.

"Are you alright, bro?" Luigi asked.

Mario stopped dancing. But he started moving his mouth but gibberish came out.

"He can't talk without his teeth!" Peach screamed.

"I got an idea!" Luigi shouted. "We can get him to tell us what happened by playing charades!"

"Good idea!" Toadsworth said. "Okay, Mario, act out what happened."

Mario put his hands right under his armpits and started jumping around d like a monkey without the noise. Then he slapped himself in the head and fell over acting unconscious. Then while he was acting unconscious he motioned his hands to his mouth.

"Um? What does that mean?" Luigi asked.

Mario got up and did the act over and over.

"I got a guess. Maybe a tooth eating dragon samurai ninja pirate eagle busted through the castle roof and landed in front of Mario. It scared him so much he slapped him self in the head and fell unconscious. Then the tooth eating dragon samurai ninja pirate eagle then ate Mario's teeth and flew away. Then it fixed the hole in the roof and then REALLY flew away." Luigi guessed.

"That's absurd!" Peach yelled. "What he means is that a cement eating magikoopa came and made the refrigerator come to life and eat Mario's teeth then knock him unconscious. Then the refrigerator ate the magikoopa and went back to normal. Duh!"

"You are both wrong!" An unknown voice said.

They all looked over to Mario where the voice came from. They saw Mario's hammer standing up. It had eyes and a mouth.

"I'm Ham, Mario's hammer." The hammer said.

Just then Mario's cape popped out. It had eyes and a mouth as well.

"I'm Mr. Cape. You can call me Cape."

Then came Mario's boots. They also had faces. "I'm Mr. Right and this is Mrs. Left."

The final object that came out was Mario's hat. "I'm Kapp."

"So you guys know what happened?" A toad asked.

"Yeah." Ham said. "Mario got hungry so he went to get some food. He did that then he was ambushed by monkeys that wore Koopa Troop outfits. They stole Mario's teeth and ran off."

"Cool." Luigi said. "You guys should go get them back."

"Okay but you all should come too."

"Um… I can't. I've uh… got to… eat! Yeah eat that's it!" Luigi said running off to his house.

"I've got… um… princess matters to attend too. Yeah that's it!" Peach yelled as she ran to her room.

"I'm… uh… too old. Yeah!" Toadsworth said as he ran away.

"So that leaves us and some toads!" Kapp said in excitement. "I've always liked Toads!"

"I've always hated them." Mrs. Left said.

"Um… we have to… um… stay here and… uh…. um… are… servants! Yeah! That's it! We gotta serve the people in this castle because we are their servants! That's why we can't go!" The toads ran off.

"Chickens." Mr. Cape said to himself.

"So let's get this adventure started!" Kapp screamed in excitement.

"Hold your horses!" Ham screamed. "I'm leader so _I_ decide when we leave. And that is… now! Zoom!" And with that, they're off! They just don't know where!

_End of chapter._

I hope you like this story. I hope you find it funny.


	2. The Super Duper Raging Apple Tree

**Chapter 2: The Super Duper Raging Apple Tree**

So our heroes, Ham, Mr. Cape, Mr. Right, Mrs. Left, and Kapp left Peach's Castle and walked into the middle of the street and then stopped.

"Where should we go first, Ham?" Kapp asked excitingly.

"I dunno." Ham answered.

"Maybe we should go to Dairy Queen." Cape suggested.

"How the freak is that gonna help us get Mario's teeth?" Mr. Right asked like Cape was an idiot.

"Well, ice cream is good and maybe we can offer it to the monkeys as an exchange for Mario's teeth." Cape responded.

"That is the STUPIDEST idea I've ever heard!" Mrs. Left yelled. "But I do love ice cream so let's go!"

But right before they got off the street a mushroom car sped down the road one hundred mph.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Mr. Right screamed as he jumped up and down.

But right before it hit them an apple tree popped up in front of them and the car hit it and went kaboom.

"Well that is just the darndest thing I've ever seen." Cape said in awe.

But then the tree turned around and it had a face. It smiled an evil grin.

"Hey mister tree, thanks for pooping up in front of the car. Sorry I mean popping. Capetalk is my first language." Cape said.

"I'm gonna eat chu, foo!" The tree screamed.

"Eat me and I'll give you a smack in the face!" Mrs. Left said angrily.

"My name is Plapple C. Treeburger. If you don't want me to eat you like da foo you is, you gotta break dance for ya life!" The apple tree screamed.

"We are just inanimate objects. We can't break dance!" Ham screamed.

"You can combine to form a body!" Plapple explained.

"Yeah let's try it!" Kapp said enthusiastically.

So they started to form a body. Ham was the face and the body. Kapp jumped on top of Ham and was the hat. Cape tied himself to Ham and was the cape. Mr. Right used his teeth to bite into the stick part of Ham which was the body and he created legs. He jumped on the right one and was the right shoe. Mrs. Left jumped on the left and was the left shoe. Cape used himself to create arms on Ham's stick body.

This was the break dancing body so they started break dancing. When they finished Plapple spoke. "Oh yeah this is a dance off. I'm gonna dance too."

So Plapple popped out of the ground and grew branches for arms and roots for legs. He started break dancing real good. When he finished he said "You got served!"

"It ain't over till the fat lady sings! And by fat lady I mean yo mama!" Ham insulted.

"Oh no you didn't!" Plapple said angrily. "You betta not be talkin' bout my mama!"

"Oh yeah I did!" Ham screamed back.

"I don't know Ham maybe you shouldn't have insulted his mom like that." Kapp said frighteningly.

"Maybe you're right but I think you're… DEAD WRONG!" Ham said like he was all that.

"Let's hurry up and finish this. I want some ice cream from Dairy Queen." Mrs. Left said impatiently.

"We will have one more round of break dancing, Ham, and I will serve it to you!" Plapple said. "I go first here."

Plapple started break dancing like Mr. T with ants in his pants and ice in his shirt. Everyone except Ham and Plapple were in awe.

"That is some awesome break dancing!" Cape admired.

"It's not that good." Ham said.

"Do I hear a pinch of jealousy in your voice, Ham?" Mr. Right asked.

"If you don't shut up I'll give you a pinch!" Ham yelled angrily.

Plapple finally finished his last turn and said "Let's see ya beat dat, foo!"

"Watch and try to learn, apple tree. But you can't learn cuz nobody can copy these awesome moves of mine!" Ham told Plapple.

So the heroes break danced really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, good.

"How ya like them apples?" Ham bragged to Plapple.

"That was ironic." Mrs. Left said.

"Okay, okay Ham, you win the dance off." Plapple admitted. "I won't eat you."

Kapp jumped off of Ham in joy while the others separated. Ham's body went back to normal. Kapp accidentally jumped onto Plapple's head.

"Oops." Kapp said innocently.

"What happened?" Plapple asked. "Last thing I remember is getting ready to eat you guys. Oh yeah! Something must have hit me in the head and knocked me out. So now I'm gonna eat you guys."

"KAPP!" Everyone except Kapp and Plapple screamed angrily.

"Sorry. It's not my fault." He said.

"Yes it is!" Cape said as he tackled Kapp and proceeded to strangle him.

"Can't… breathe." Kapp said as he struggled against Cape who was smothering him.

"I'm still gonna eat you guys so strangling him isn't gonna do any good." Plapple said.

"He's right ya know." Mrs. Left said. But Cape still didn';t stop strangling Kapp.

"So are you guys ready to be eaten?" Plapple asked.

"I've… got… an… idea." Kapp said.

"Let him go, Cape! He's got an idea that will get us out of this!" Ham screamed.

"Fine, fine." Cape said as he got up.

"Okay. My plan is this. Hey Mr. Plapple apple tree thingy, can I have one final wish before you eat me?"

"Yeah sure." Plapple said.

"My final wish is… that you don't eat any of us except Cape. I don't like Cape. You can eat him."

"I'm accepting any wish in my power except that one." Plapple said. "After all I am a magic apple tree."

"Well I tried." Kapp said backing up.

"Well I have one." Ham said heroically. "Can I have an apple gun that can shoot an infinite amount of apples as it keeps making them?"

"Sure." Plapple said.

It appeared on the ground in front of Ham. Ham picked it up with his teeth and signaled Kapp to come over there and operate it. Kapp did that and he fired at Plapple.

"Hey! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Plapple screamed angrily as he got pummeled with apples. He finally sank into the ground and the apple gun disappeared.

Aw man." Kapp said sadly. "Now I can't shoot Mr. Cape with it. This sucks."

"Well let's go to Dairy Queen!" Mrs. Left screamed as she hopped away. They all followed her and hopped away to Dairy Queen and got some ice cream. Except for Kapp he got a hot dog.

_**End of chapter.**_

How do you guys like this chapter huh? Please review and tell me if you think it is funny, stupid, idiotic, moronic, hilarious, or none of them at all. I like to know people's opinions.


	3. The Evil Racecar Driver

**Chapter 3: The Evil Racecar Driver**

So our heroes were leaving Dairy Queen with Mr. Cape hopping in front of everyone else when he got ran over by a racecar. The racecar turned around and stopped in front of the others on top of Mr. Cape. The driver, who was a short toad, got out and took off his helmet. He had blue spots.

"I am Larry P. Eagle." The driver said.

"What's the P stand for?" Mr. Right asked curiously.

"Pineapple." Larry responded like it was a big secret.

"Your name is Larry Pineapple Eagle? Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Ham laughed.

"Shut up! It's not funny! Now my business is this. I know Mario's teeth got stolen and it was hilarious! But some of his teeth are on a trophy that you win in a racecar race. So I'm just here to tell you so you can try to get them back. And to add some competition. I'm entering and I will definitely win so don't even try to come but I know you will so you can do that." Larry said.

"Okay thanks for the information so get ready to lose in that race." Kapp said enthusiastically.

"Not likely." And with that, Larry got back into his car and took off.

"Hey Mr. Cape, I'm glad you got hurt. It was funny!" Kapp said happily.

"Shut up." Cape said angrily.

"Okay, okay. So let's go build a racecar and enter the race." Kapp said.

"But we got a problem. We don't know where it is." Mrs. Left said.

"Good point." Mr. Right said. "Well I'm stumped."

Just then a flyer fell to the ground. Kapp hopped over and looked at it.

It read "_Enter the Super Duper Grand Race of Ultimate Awesomeness! All you need is a driver, a pit crew, a car, and most importantly 2,000 coins! If you have all that you too can join this race!_

_It is a 501 lap race and first prize is 100,000 coins and a golden trophy that has a few of the great Super Mario's teeth that were stolen by the Koopa Troop monkeys. So you can join now! Yeah!_

_Just come to Mushroom City Motor Speedway and join the race!_"

"So let's go!" Mr. Right said.

They all hopped to the Mushroom City Motor Speedway.

"Now we need a car." Ham said. "Any ideas?"

"I got an idea." Kapp said. "How about we steal Wario's pink car. I mean, he hardly ever uses it and it can go up to over 200 mph!"

"That's pretty good but how do you suppose we steal it?" Mrs. Left asked.

"All he needs is coins so we can give him counterfeit coins to buy it! It's the perfect plan!" Kapp screamed.

"Perfect! But won't he want revenge when he finds out we cheated him?" Mr. Cape asked about the only flaw in the plan.

"Yeah but when he finds out we'll be long gone with the trophy!" Kapp explained.

"So let's do it!"

Our heroes then went to Wario's house after making counterfeit coins.

"So Wario can we buy your car? We have 100,000,000,000 coins." Ham said as he held out his tongue which had the pile of coins.

Wario then smelt the coins before answering him. He smelt them thoroughly and then finally said "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"Yes but that's beside the point." Ham said with a smirk.

"Hey! Never mind! But these coins are fake! I should know because I can smell coins and tell if they are real or fake. And these are fake." Wario said.

"But what if you think that we think that you are an idiot if we give you what we think that you think are fake coins but they are really what you think is what we think real." Mr. Cape said.

"I'm confused. So I'll just take these coins and you can take my ride. But JUST for the race." Wario told them.

So they took Wario's car and repainted it. They painted a black 27 on it for the number and changed its tires. They finally finished making it and they took it to the race.

"So who is gonna drive?" Kapp asked.

"I vote Ham." Ham said.

"You are Ham." Mr. Right said.

"I know."

So Ham was the driver and everyone else was the pit crew. The race started and Larry took a quick lead. 500 laps later Larry was still in the lead and Ham was in dead last. He was only on lap 2. His car wasn't going very fast if you didn't get that.

"Come on Ham, you can win!" Kapp screamed with joy.

"No I can't I'm down by 498 laps with one lap left. I can't win!" Ham told him.

But just then Ham's car went into hyper mode and flew through a wormhole that sent him onto lap 500 right in front of the finish line. He flew by everyone else and won the race.

"Wow I won!" Ham said.

Larry got out of his car and ran up to Ham. "Hey I was supposed to win!"

"But that's just too bad. I won so you suck!" Ham shouted.

"But since I didn't win I've got to beat you to death with a golf club."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a hammer."

"You are?" Larry asked like Ham was stupid. Ham just shook his head and started beating Larry senseless.

Ham and the others got the trophy and put it in there new car. They drove off to Dairy Queen to get some ice cream without returning Wario's car. They stole his car. Tee hee.

_**End of chapter.**_

How ya like this one? Huh? Huh? Please review and tell me your thoughts.


	4. Super Ultra Monkey Team Hyper Fart Go!

**Chapter 4: Super Ultra Monkey Team Hyper Fart Go!**

Our heroes were inside Dairy Queen eating ice cream when five monkeys walked into the door.

"We are the Super Ultra Monkey Team Hyper Fart Go!" The leader said. "I am Supa, the leader."

"I am Ulta, the second in command."

"I am Monka, tied with the others that aren't Supa or Dupa for third in command."

"I am Hypa, same position as Monka."

"I am Fart, same as Hypa and Monka."

"Now," Supa began, "We here that some fools have some of Mario's teeth. We want them back. Where are those fools?"

"Right here!" Ham screamed as he jumped up from the table. The other heroes jumped up too.

"So you are the famed equipment of Mario?" Ulta asked. "Pathetic."

"I'll show you pathetic when I smack you in the face!" Ham said angrily.

"Let's not start any thing, Ham." Mr. Right suggested.

"Well nothing will get started if you hand over the teeth!" Supa demanded again.

"Never!" Ham screamed.

"Then… we will stick our ultimate weapon on you! Go Fart!" Supa commanded.

"What is that little runt gonna do?" Mr. Cape insulted.

Fart turned around and let out an atomic fart which exploded destroying the Dairy Queen and knocked everyone except the monkeys who put gas masks on out.

"Now let's take the teeth and get outta here!" Monka said as he approached Ham the leader. But Ham smacked him in the face. "What? How is he still conscious?"

"He's holding his breath!" Hypa noticed.

Ham smacked him in the face too.

"Stupid hammer!" Monka screamed as he threw a coconut at Ham which made him breathe and knocked him out. "That's right! Go down and stay down!"

So the monkeys were about to take the teeth from Ham's pocket when a gust of wind blew the entire fart away. The heroes rose up.

"What!" Mrs. Left screamed. "You blew up Dairy Queen! How dare you! I'm going to destroy you all!"

Mrs. Left charged and started kicking all the monkeys she knocked them all out.

"Good job, Mrs. Left! Now we can take the teeth that belong to Mario that they have!" Mr. Right complimented.

"Not so fast! I'm not knocked out yet!" One of the monkeys screamed.

"Hey! That's the leader! What was his name? Dupa? Kupa? Rupa? Monstrupa? Samuel L. Jacksupa?" Cape guessed.

"No you idiot! It's Supa! Now hand over the teeth of Mario that you have!" Supa screamed.

"NO! YOU HAND OVER YOURS!" Mrs. Left commanded.

"If you don't hand over your teeth of Mario, then I shall take them from you! With Monkey-Fu!" Supa yelled as he got into a martial arts pose. "Time to die!"

Supa charged at Mrs. Left but Ham jumped in the way and he was smacked in the face and knocked out.

"Now we take their teeth." Ham said with a smirk.

"Yeah! Go team!" Kapp screamed as he jumped up and down.

"Shut up." Mr. Cape said as he hopped over and grabbed the Mario teeth Supa had. "Now let's go."

"But shouldn't we rebuild this Dairy Queen?" Mrs. Left asked.

"I said let's go!" Cape said angrily.

"**NO! WE REBUILD DAIRY QUEEN OR I'M GONNA STICK TOOTHPICKS UNDER YOUR FINGERNAILS AND THEN SET THE TOOTHPICKS ON FIRE!**" Mrs. Left threatened.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Help me mommy!" Cape screamed as he hopped around.

Then with the speed that can only happen in cartoons the Mario Equipment Squad rebuilt Dairy Queen in the blink of the eye.

"Free ice cream for all!" Mrs. Left yelled as she threw ice cream and other Dairy Queen products to everyone there, except the monkeys. She threw them in the dumpster.

So they hopped in their car that they stole from Wario and drove off.


	5. Mega Mecha Turtle Iguana Mech

**Chapter 5: Mega Mecha Turtle Iguana Mech**

"So," Mr. Right was asking Ham in their car, "Where do we go next?"

"Well, we should go to the Koopa Kingdom. I mean, that's where the Koopa Troop is and where we can find out where the rest of the teeth are." Ham answered.

"Wow. Ham came up with a good idea. That's new." Mrs. Left joked.

"Hey!" Ham screamed.

"So let's go to the Koopa Kingdom! Yay!" Kapp screamed happily. "And maybe, just maybe, we can get King Bowser to eat Mr. Cape! That'd be great!"

"No it wouldn't!" Cape screamed back.

"Yes it would."

"No it wouldn't!"

"Yes it would!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Stop arguing!" Mrs. Left screamed. "The only thing we can argue about is best ice cream at Dairy Queen and anything else about Dairy Queen."

"Everybody shut up! I can't concentrate on the road!" Ham screamed angrily.

Everyone agreed and they drove for a few hours. A few more hours passed and they stopped at a gas station for gas.

"Why'd we stop?" Mr. Right asked.

"Why do you think? We need gas!" Ham answered.

So Ham put gas in the car and they all went inside.

"Ham." Kapp called. Ham ignored him. "Ham." Ham ignored Kapp again. "HAM!"

"What?" Ham asked angrily.

"Can I get some candy?" Kapp asked nicely.

"No!"

"Please."

"NO!"

"Pretty please with a pig on top!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Fine you don't have to yell." Kapp whined.

So they paid for the gas and walked outside. What they saw they couldn't believe.

"Hey! Wario is in our car!" Mr. Right yelled.

"You mean MY car." Wario said with an evil snare. "The one YOU stole. And now for that I will get my revenge! I stole a machine to fight you! Go Mega Mecha Turtle Iguana Mech!"

Just then a giant machine landed in front of Mario's equipment.

"It's half machine, half turtle, and half iguana!" Mr. Cape exclaimed in ear.

"That's too many halves!" Mr. Right yelled in fear.

"I want my mommy!" Ham screamed.

"Now you will fight a machine I stole from some dude named Professor E. Gadd!" Wario yelled.

"I'm scared." Kapp said cheerfully.

"Why do you seem so happy then?" Mrs. Left asked him.

"Because, I'm cool like that."

The machine held out his arm and slowly lowered it. It had hate in its mechanical eyes and an evil mechanical grin. Steam came from its mechanical mouth.

"Hi I'm Ernie." The machine said nicely. "Will you guys be my friends?"

Ham fainted.

"Get away you monster!" Cape said as he spit on the robot.

"Yeah! Please go away unless you want to get destroyed!" Kapp said as he jumped up and down cheerfully.

"You guys reject me! Everyone either rejects me or wants me to destroy something. And it makes me sad." Ernie cried mechanical tears.

"Shut up you stupid robot! You can't be sad because you got no emotions!" Cape screamed angrily.

"Stop being mean to me!" Ernie cried out.

"There, there, Ernie. I won't be mean to you." Mr. Right said nicely.

Ernie smiled. "You… you won't?"

"No, I won't be mean to you. I will just… be more than that! Die. Die! DIE! **Die! DIE! DIE!**" Mr. Right proceeded to jump up and down on his foot.

"Why is everyone mean to me? I never did anything to anybody." Ernie pouted.

Ham gained consciousness. Then he noticed something. Ernie had some of Mario's teeth in his eyes.

"Aw, it's okay, Ernie. Don't cry. They are just little meanies. I won't be a meanie as long as you… GIVE ME THE TEETH THAT ARE IN YOUR EYES!" Ham yelled.

"Oh, you mean these?" Ernie pulled the teeth out of his mechanical eyes. "Yeah some monkeys gave them to me and told me to guard them. Do you want them?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" ham screamed as jumped up and down and panted like a puppy.

"Well I'll give them to you if you do something for me. All you have to do is eat a bowling ball."

"Okay!" Kapp said. He grabbed a bowling ball and ate it. "Now give us the teeth you bug stupid robot!"

Kapp jumped up and bit Ernie's mechanical hand causing him to drop the teeth. Ham picked them up and put them in his pocket. Then Kapp flipped a switch on Ernie's back when shut him down.

"Now Wario, give us our car back!" Kapp screamed happily and also angrily.

"It is my car not yours!" Wario screamed.

"Then neither of us will have a car because I installed a remote detonator bomb on it. All I have to do it press this button and we all go boom." Kapp smirked.

"I don't wanna die!" Wario jumped out of the car and ran away.

"You installed a remote detonator bomb in his car while we were using it?" Cape asked Kapp.

"No. I was bluffing. Although I would like to put one of you and blow you up." Kapp said evilly but also happily.

Cape winced. So they all got back in the car and drove to Dairy Queen where they ate ice cream. Yay!


	6. The Tooth Fairy

**Chapter 6: The Tooth Fairy**

"Shouldn't we be going to the Koopa Kingdom?" Mr. Cape asked Ham while they were still at Dairy Queen.

"Yeah but ice cream is just so good!" Ham said with a cone in his mouth. He dropped the cone and it fell to the ground. "Oops." He said as he picked it back up and put it in his mouth again.

"I know ice cream is delicious but we have a job to do!" Mr. Cape said.

"Don't you dare say we have to leave!" Mrs. Left yelled.

"You have to leave! All of you!" The manager of Dairy Queen ordered.

"Why? We didn't do anything!" Kapp said cheerfully as always.

"You have been causing commotion so leave now or I will have you arrested!" The manager ordered once more.

They all grumbled as they walked out the door and went to the car. "Stupid Dairy Queen." Mr. Right said angrily.

"Don't you dare call Dairy Queen stupid! It is just the manager!" Mrs. Left sneered.

They kept driving and driving and driving until they all fell asleep while Ham was still driving. When they woke up they were all tied to the same chair.

"Where are we?" Ham asked.

"We are in a room where we are tied to a chair." Mr. Right answered.

Just then a lady with wings, shiny teeth, and a wand walked in. "You are looking for Mario's teeth?" She asked.

"Yeah." Ham said. "Are you the Tooth Fairy?"

"No." She answered. "I'm the Tooth Fairy's sister."

"I'm the Tooth Fairy." A voice called out.

The heroes looked over and saw a fat, tall, hairy dude with a wand and wings.

Cape and Mr. Right screamed like a girl.

"Just kidding. She really is the Tooth Fairy. I'm the Tooth Wizard." He answered.

"That's great." Cape sighed with relief.

"So what do you want?" Mrs. Left asked.

"We want to help you." The Tooth Wizard answered. "But first let's introduce ourselves. I am the Tooth Wizard, as you all know, and you can call me Hairy Gary or just Gary."

"I am the Tooth Fairy and my real name is Really Lily. Just call me Lily." The Tooth Fairy introduced herself.

"I'm Ham and this is Mr. Cape, Mr. Right, Mrs. Left, and Kapp."

"Nice to meet you two." Kapp greeted.

"Now if you don't mind, GET US OUT OF THIS CHAIR!" Mrs. Left screamed.

"Okay." Lily let them out of the chair.

"So what do we do now?" Ham asked.

"Gary will gather the Tooth Kingdom Army and we will attack the Koopa Kingdom! And make their teeth shine! Then they go kaboom!" Lily screamed.

"Awesome!" Kapp yelled and he jumped up and down.

"All you have to do is make them go boom!" She screamed again.

"Not awesome!" Kapp said as cheerfully as always while he was still jumping up and down.

"But how do we get Mario's teeth from that?" Mr. Cape asked a smart question. But he got a dumb answer.

"You buy fake cat teeth!"

"That has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" Cape screamed.

"I like chocolate milk!" Gary said just like Cheese from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

"No never mind. That was."

"Okay Tooth Fairy lady, we need to get Mario's REAL teeth now! You are the Tooth Fairy, you can locate teeth. Can't you?" Mrs. Left ordered.

"Only with the Super Tooth Wand." She answered.

"It's in your hand." Mr. Right pointed to the wand in Lily's hand.

"No, no. This is just the Tooth Wand. I need the SUPER Tooth Wand."

"Okay where is that?" Ham asked.

"It is with Plapple C. Treeburger. He's the Super Duper Raging Apple Tree." The Tooth Fairy answered.

"Aw man. We beat him in a dance contest once. This sucks! We gotta find that stupid apple tree again." Cape complained. "Do you know where he is?"

"Oh yeah I do. He is in the Super Duper Apple Orange Villagetown. That's somewhere in the Super Duper Ultra Apple Banana Kingdomville." The Tooth Fairy answered.

"And we can get you there! Just take the Toothmobile! It can go at the speed of toothpaste!" Gary added.

"Speed of… toothpaste?" Ham asked.

"Yeah! The speed of toothpaste makes mach 5 look like cavities!" Lily screamed cheerfully.

"Okay then. So where is this vehicle?" Cape asked Gary and Lily.

So the Great Tooth Wizard opened his mouth but no words came out. He had his giant mouth open like he was to say the letter o.

"Yes what do you need to say?" Mr. Right asked.

Lily shook her head. "He isn't trying to say anything."

"Then why does he have his mouth wide open like an idiot?" Ham asked.

"You asked where the Toothmobile was and he opened his mouth. Get it?" Lily said like a know it all.

"Wait? So what you are saying is his mouth is the Toothmobile?" Mrs. Left asked fearfully.

"Don't be ridiculous! His mouth just leads to the Toothmobile. His stomach is the Toothmobile."

"This is going to be disgusting!" Kapp said cheerfully as he jumped up and down.

"So in you go." Lily said as she moved out of the way.

"I don't wanna." Cape said as he shook his head angrily like a little kid who was pitching a fit because he couldn't get a toy he wanted.

"**I SAID GO IN!**" Lily screamed as she grabbed all of the equipment and threw them inside the mouth of the Tooth Wizard, Hairy Gary.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Kapp yelled as they rode down the Esophagus Tunnel.

They kept sliding further and further down until they landed in some sort of acid.

"Where are we now?" Ham asked as they all got up.

"I'd say we are in the stomach and are currently being digested." Mr. Cape said. "And to all the readers out there, we aren't going to die. Or are we? I sure hope not."

"We can't die because we are just figments of our own imaginations!" Mrs. Left said as she kicked Cape.

"How is that possible?" Mr. Right asked.

"I don't know ask the writer." Kapp said cheerfully as they were being digested.

"Hey Mr. Writer, or Mrs. Writer I don't know which one. But I have a question. How can we be figments of our own imaginations?" Mr. Right asked just like Kapp told him to.

Well, it's a long story and I have no freaking clue.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall everybody! We have enough of that. So back to the story." Ham ordered.

Right. So where was I? Oh yeah our heroes were being digested in Hairy Gary's stomach. Will they survive? I don't know because I write as the stuff comes to me. So yeah. After a few minutes everyone was digested completely except for Ham. Now he is digested completely. When he opened his eyes again he was in a sleek white hover car. They knew it was the Toothmobile.

"How do we know it's the Toothmobile?" Mr. Right said as he broke the fourth wall even more.

Because it is just common sense.

"We don't have common sense." Mr. Right stated. "Except for Kapp, he's just weird."

"Hey! That's rude! I do not have common sense! I'm not weird like that!" Kapp said cheerfully but angrily.

"How can you say something cheerfully and angrily?" Ham asked curiously.

You guys just shut up. I'm repairing the fourth wall. And the **_NEW _**reason why you guys know that it is the Toothmobile is that the word Toothmobile is written on the side.

"That's better." Mrs. Left said with a smirk.

Now no more breaking the fourth wall. And go!

So our heroes drove the Toothmobile far and wide until they saw a horizontal line in the ground. A sign was on the line. It read _Welcome to_ _Super Duper Ultra Apple Banana Kingdomville. Are you ready to die? Well if you are, proceed on. If you aren't, then still proceed._

"Let's go!" Kapp screamed cheerfully.

_**End of chapter.**_

"Aw man why does this chapter have to end?" Kapp said cheerfully but sadly.

"How can something be cheerful and sad?" Mr. Right asked confusedly.

**SILENCE! **No more breaking the fourth wall and this chapter is over.


End file.
